and how to spot them
Published on January 26, 2006 By Charissa Kaschel In Personal Relationships
Ever see the movie HOW TO LOOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS????? Well I think I"m going to write my own, and I"m going to call it HOW TO CATCH ALL THE LOSERS IN 10 DAYS!!!! seriously, in the last 10 days, and I don't mean to complain because I know every girl wants to find "that guy." BUT I MEAN COME ON!!!!! In the last 10 days I have had 3 clingy, obsessive men all trying to date me, none of whom I have anything in common with, I am not attracted to, AND they all claimed within the first 24 hours that I knew them that I WAS THE ONE FOR THEM! it just blows my mind... do I have a big sign tattoed on my forehead that says "I ATTRACT LOSER GUYS TALK TO ME" maybe I"m just missing something, my friend's say I'm too nice, maybe that's true. I mean ,I'm truly the person that says' I don't care what they look like I"ll still give them the time of day and get to know them"... none of my ex's have been beautiful or anything like that, it was all in who they were as a person. I have the most beauitful child from someone who by the world's standard was anything but good looking, but he was someone I could count on ( or thought I could but that's a whole other story). But, and honestly, because I"ve never dated a "good looking" guy... I can only conclude that the guys who have the great personality are also the clingy obsessive ones.. and I know that's a faulty conclusion... but it's all I've ever experienced. ....

well.. I do'nt know.. but I'm stuck! I want to get married some day and I want someone to love my son and I.... but maybe I"m just to picky or irritable I don't know.... thanks for letting me vent

Comments
on Jan 26, 2006
You must have some kind of magic.  Now the trick is to figure out what it is and use it to attract the right type of guy.  Good luck!
on Jan 26, 2006
loser (+unattractive) guy = low self esteem

low self esteem (can)= clinginess

if i'm a loser, and i have low self esteem, and some attractive girl talks to me (even if it's just to say 'hi') instead of brushing me off like I don't exist, then i'm going to follow her around like a lost puppy until she does tell me to get lost.

all of us losers want to date attractive women, and by you being nice, it makes us think that we have a chance... i'm not saying you have to be a bitch, but if you want to drive away the losers, then you have to stop putting out the 'I'm available to anyone vibe'... if you want to find an all around good guy, you gotta raise your all around standards. Stop trying to convince yourself that you should 'settle' for someone you're not physically attracted to. Go for someone that is just as or nearly as attractive as yourself. (birds of a feather) that's not the only quality to consider of course, but it's an important overall factor.

there's a power base to be considered in every relationship. you should try n avoid being both better looking and smarter than any guy that you date. Choose one or the other or it's gonna throw everything off balance. It sounds like you're totally cool w/ dating someone that's not as attractive as you, but you haven't mentioned intellect. clearly the last few wannabe suitors haven't been very bright.

anyhoo... i could go on and on, but i'll stop here. Just remember that you're putting out a vibe (albeit subconsciously) that you need to stop. You deserve someone great, so expect it... insist on it... and don't even think about settling for anything less.