Headline: Baby lost at sea

ok well not really but that's how it feels

Published on July 1, 2006 By Charissa Kaschel In Home & Family

I am so upset right now! I don't even know where to start. ok.. I hired a girl from my church to watch my son (8 month old) over the summer when I"m at work. She has him at her parents houes from 4-8pm aand then she brings him home to my parents who put him to bed and keep him until I get home from work. I drop him off shortly before 4 and it is their responsibility to have him home between 8 and 8:30. She is 16 and will be getting her license soon but until she does her parents have agreed to provide transportation for her. I made it very clear when I told her about the schedule that she needed to have Nicholas home by 8:30 at the latest so he could unwind a bit before bedtime at 9. Well the first week she had him her parents called and said they wouldn't have him home until 930 or 10 because they went to dinner 45 minutes away and planned poorly. I let this time slide. Well my mother informed me tonight the this week he has not been home until between 930 and 10 each night! Now granted I am not paying her for the extra time BUT my son is paying the price because it upsets his schedule. If only that were the only issue to address. I found out that also, THEY TOOK MY SON SAILING ON A SAILBOAT TONIGHT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! they didn't call and let me or my parents know. they just took him. Who in their right mind takes someone's infant on a boat without telling them?!?!?!?!?!?!?! If they had asked I could have at least said no or let me think about it rather than just deciding that I would be ok with it. AND the young lady's mother just had a hysterectomy (sp) and so she can't lift anything over 10lbs. So if there had been a problem, she wouldn't have been able to help in the first place. Now I did tell her that when she got her license it would be fine if she took him places as long as she told me first. but again. NOONE EVER TOLD ME or at least had the decency to call and let my parents know. Instead they waited until 930 on their way in to shore to call and say he wasn't going to be home until 10.

Needless to say I will be having a chat with the girl. I realize it's hard to set boundries with your parents. And the family has history with mine, but I am not willing to comprimise (sp) my son because they have poor boundries.

I am soooooooooooooooo upset. I don't even know what to say to her. any ideas?
Charissa

Comments

Texas Wahine

on Jul 01, 2006

How's this?

"I'm sorry, but this is not working out."

I am way protective of my children, and there's NO WAY IN HELL I'd let a 16 year old provide childcare for my infant.

Pony up the dough and get someone responsible and experienced to watch your son. He can't be replaced.

Charissa Kaschel

on Jul 01, 2006

Well that was my origional thought but I don't think that the issue is her. It's her parents. They are the type of people who have no boundries and are very controling so when they tell her she has to do something she has to. I am already paying $7 an hour and to put him in daycare for the hours I work I would be paying over $9. I did try to call them this morning. I will be having a firm discussion with her and then probably one with her parents also. it's difficult because she does a great job with him and he loves her. So if I felt she was the issue I"d have no problem replacing her, but I don't feel she is. I don't view the incicdent as her fault, only because I know her parents and I know how they are. And because she can't drive yet it does place some responsibility on them. But they knew that when I hired her and they agreed to it, so hopefully we can reach an agreement or I will be looking for someone else.

Gideon MacLeish

on Jul 01, 2006

*mutter, mutter, mutter*

SAILING? AN 8 MONTH OLD?!?!?

Talk about CRAPPY decisions. Thank GOD everything turned out OK. You're much kinder than I would have been (of course, my wife would have probably bound and gagged me in the closet so that she could handle the situation more diplomatically...but I digress).

I'd go with Tex's approach. But, barring that, I would sit her down and explain to her that you are trusting her with a greaat responsibility, and that she needs to take that responsibility very seriously. Also explain to her that she needs to ask your permission before going anywhere beyond your house, her house, and the store.

And, for effect, you can be cleaning a large caliber weapon as you are speaking.

Charissa Kaschel

on Jul 01, 2006

"Also explain to her that she needs to ask your permission before going anywhere beyond your house, her house, and the store."

I did this when I hired her and so I'm not sure why they felt it was ok. They have girls my sisters ages and even when they take them sailing they call and ask first. I just don't understand what prompted them taking him WITHOUT even calling first. I will definately be having a conversation and if it continues to be an issue they will need to bring her back and forth to my house and that will short them a helper at their house.

Gideon MacLeish

on Jul 01, 2006

I did this when I hired her and so I'm not sure why they felt it was ok.

Wow. Maybe the large caliber weapon would've helped!

On a serious note, though, don't worry. You have plenty of reason to be ticked off here.

Texas Wahine

on Jul 01, 2006

I think the thing you're not catching onto is that the teen and her parents are a package deal. So while SHE may be great and willing to follow your instructions, she's CLEARLY not in charge.

I just really question the wisdom of allowing a 16 year old without a license to care for an infant. The fact that she has adult supervision is a plus, but in your situation, it doesn't help at all because they are irresponsible.

Have you considered what could happen if there were an emergency while the babysitter's parents were at dinner/away?

I don't envy your dilemma, and I do hope you can work something out. If it were me, I'd be extremely uncomfortable with the child care situation and would be looking for an adult with some experience with children, even if it cost me a bit more.

You live with your parents, correct? If so, $2 an hour more for adequate care of your child is not going to put you out on the street.

Locamama

on Jul 01, 2006

I would throw a fit too. I do homedaycare and I would never take the kids anywhere without the parents knowledge and permission. I very, very rarely take them anywhere. I just don't want to be responsible if something were to happen. I feel like I am more in control in my home. If I leave, I might be doing everything right that doesn't mean that someone else might not go flying through a red light. I just never want to be in the position of having to call a parent and tell them to meet me at the emergency room.

I would put my foot down now. If you need a written agreement, write one up. State plain as day what you agree to and what you don't. I would put the hours agreed to, field trips? etc. I would also think about looking for other care if this situation doesn't improve immediately.

Texas Wahine

on Jul 01, 2006

Great suggestions, Loca.

Charissa Kaschel

on Jul 02, 2006

Thank you for your thoughts. I'm sure the situation will be handled or I will be looking elsewhere for care.

ParaTed2k

on Jul 02, 2006

What I'd do is wake up a little earlier, go get your babysitter and have her watch your babe at your house. If the problem is the parents, that would take them out of the equation. That would also give you more assurances that your babysitter will be the one making the decisions while you are gone... not the parents who seem to be less trustworthy than a 16 year old.

I'd have no problem allowing the right 16 year old to watch my kids.. in fact, I did. Also, my daughter has been basically a full time babysitter each summer for the last couple of years. Furthermore, I was a babysitter at 14 (most in my church do start out about that age).

That's just my 2 cents

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