but living at home
Published on June 15, 2005 By Charissa Kaschel In Home & Family
Never did I think I would find myself in the position to need to move back home again, but here I am. 21 years old and once again needing to rely on my parents. Being the oldest sibling, the only thing I ever wanted to do was GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I did, and it was great, until I dug myself into a hole of mistakes so deep I needed someone to throw me a rope to get out. Now, on my way out of my hole which I imagined would be difficult, but difficult is an understatement. Maybe it's beacuse my of my family but probably because of myself. I never am one to admit when I need help or when I"ve screwed up, but I suppose when you're single and 5 months pregnant it's a little obvious. I've never been so grateful for what someone might do for me as when my mom and dad said I could move back home. Granted it's not always easy and it's definately not easy having no job or car and kinda feeling stuck. But, the sacrifices they were willing to take to help me out are insurmountable and none can ever compare. Well with the exception of what the Lord has done for us. It's deifnately hard to not be a parent especially when you have 5 younger siblings, 4 under the age of 14. And granted, noone is perfect, least of all me, but, ythere are definately days where I wished I'd never chosen to come home. NOt because I"m ungrateful, but because some days it's just too hard. I think about people who don't have families to go home to and how unfortunate we consider them to be. I couldn't imagine having somewhere to go for Christmas or birthdays. Or people who sit on death row who have commited a crime so haneous that we have sentenced them to a life of solitary confinement until they die (when we decide to kill them). So I suppose, for those days that I am particularly ungrateful, I ought to just count my blessings and get over it.
Comments
on Jun 16, 2005
Thanks for the expression of gratitude, Charissa. I know it's a struggle, but we'll all struggle through it with you.

Tractorman
on Jun 16, 2005
Try being is a very similar situation at 43. *sigh*
on Jun 16, 2005
Just know that this is only temporary...You will soon find yourself back on your feet and being able to provide for yourself and your child. You are truly blessed to have a family that is willing to help you and be there for you. Best Wishes.
on Sep 07, 2005

Know that I sympathize, friend.

I mean, I'm not living at home; I'm actually homeless, but in many ways, we are so much alike.

I crave a home to return to, but know that the one(s) I have could never bring me happiness.  There's my parents, who I'm sure you know about.  That situation is goes without words.  Then, there's Tenille, who I would choose Stalin over.  I love her more than anyone else in the world, but living with her Pharisee traits made me more miserable than I'd ever been.

And I know how hard it is to have to rely on people.  It makes you feel like a piece of dirt, and obeying rules after having tasted freedom is enough to bring one to madness.

I'm glad you recognize blessings, but it's always ok to breakdown and rant.  Never compare your problems to others; we all need pity parties as long as they're not eternal.

Congradulations on the baby (which, I guess, is 8 months along now), and I hope it brings you great joy.  My 16 year old sis is pregnant (9 months, due any minute), and she got taken away by the state, so I'm no longer aloud to see her because I'm the daughter of the man who's married to the women who got my sister taken away (I'll give you a minute to catch up).  IT sucks, but I know that baby will bring life into a girl who's been broken for a long, long time.

Keep your chin up (even through the morning sickness).

Trinitie