He took it from me and it wasn't his to take. My sense of safety, my sense of security. Now I can't sleep at night without checking all the doors and windows. Anytime I hear a noise I think, could it be him again. He took it from me and it wasn't his to take. Now I"m afraid no matter where I go, I don't feel safe in my own home. My once peaceful sleep is now tormented. He took it from me and it wasn't his to take. I worry every day, will my son be safe. will i have to worry about him. Would h...

so I posted a song awhile back that has the line "i want to be beautiful.. make you stand in awe" and then I started thinking.. All of my childhood i was "beautiful" i did child modeling.. people stopped my mom in stores... all that jazz.... then as I got older I became "cute".... noone says 'you're beautiful" anymore.. and I don't mean just to me but in generall.. when guys talk about girls they're "hot" or "fine" or other explatives.... noone has those classic terms anymore "beautiful" "stu...

so friday night I went on my first date ever. it was fabulous! we went to dinner, we went indoor putt putt golfing and then we went and got slurpees! He was a perfect gentleman, he opened all the doors and when he dropped me off he walked me to the door ( he even asked if he could). he's polite.charming. fabulous AND he laughs at my jokes!!!!! let me tell you that's rare ahahahah it was great... then he asked if we could go out again.. yippppeeee I can't wait. A very excited ...

ya know that song "tears in heaven".... where it says there won't be anymore tears in heaven. Do you think that's true? I mean, think of the different reasons that we cry. Death, Joy, Sorrow, Happiness... .and many more. I think we often tend to associate tears with sorrow and grief, because I think it's more frequently why people cry. I for one am not one to cry that often unless something tragic happens. It's rare that I cry out of joy. Perhaps because I hate to cry. For me, crying is a sig...

I dont think today could get much worse. a year ago january I was sexually assulted and the guy went to jail for a year. Today I went for my weekly lunch with my dad and who happened to be in the Olive Garden waiting area. HIM! My heart just about jumped out of my skin. My dad wasn't there yet and I had the baby with me so I just had to sit there and wait. Then, I just found out tha tmy friend steven who has been struggling with cancer died this morning. Ever feel like crawling into a hole an...

so I'm going on my first real date ever on friday. But he asked what I wanted to do and I'm not sure. I know I don't want to go see a movie. I"m suggesting dinner and bowling because those are both pretty low key and allow for converstation. However I am taking suggestions. I'm nervous! I've never had a real date and iI am leaving my son with grandma so yea just thought I"d share and any good dating tips would be helpful

So my best friend of 6 years and I have finally parted ways I think. She moved to ireland and is doing missions work. I live here in the states and am raising a son full time. She was home to visit when I had my baby, infact she came back specifically for that. She was home for a month, and I saw her maybe 4 times at the most. Now, it might just be me, but if my best friend were to have a baby I"d be there all the time and doing whatever I could for her. But it seemed like, because my li...

Today is my son's father's birthday. Someone I haven't spoken to in almost a year. As I watched my son play today I couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness. Not because I hadn't spoken to him or because he'd never seen our son. But because I know what it's like to not know a biological parent and how inadequate and unwanted it made me feel as a kid. Thankfully my son will never need to feel that way because he is loved beyond measure, as I was. But, there is still a loss there. While I am W...

I cannot even begin to describe to you the chaos that errupts in our house from 7am-8am and then again from 4:30pm-at least 9 if not later. Yes you guessed it, that's when the kids get up. Now, I'm a pretty tolerant person and can withstand a lot. But i have never heard anyone bicker more and ride eachother more than these girls do. From the moment they get up until they go to sleep! Constant, NONSTOP... well it does stop if the television is on.. but that's about it. Sometimes you just need ...

Have you ever known exactly what you wanted to do in life and had a pretty good idea that's what God wanted you to do.. but you aren't sure HOW IN THE WORLD IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN??? I mean... why does it take so long? why can't it be "poof" this is why we are here... I just don't get it sometimes...

So I'm in the process of having a spiritual debate with someone about whether or not angels and demons exsist and if they do, how do they manifest themselves. Some of the key questions are: 1. Do angels and demons exsist? 2. if they do, how? 3. Can we see them? 4. How do they survive? 5. Can you get rid of them ( more pertaining to demons) 6. Where do they come from? All religious views are welcome as imput. While I know where I stand and what I believe it is always interesting t...

today is my first full day away from my son since he was born. I know he is well taken care of, I left plenty of bottles and instructions. But I can't help but feel a little blue without him since I can't just walk into the next room and see him. Oh man, if I'm sad now, I can't imagine what it will be like when he goes to school !!!!!! ahh at least i have a few years before I have to think about that.

Ever see the movie HOW TO LOOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS????? Well I think I"m going to write my own, and I"m going to call it HOW TO CATCH ALL THE LOSERS IN 10 DAYS!!!! seriously, in the last 10 days, and I don't mean to complain because I know every girl wants to find "that guy." BUT I MEAN COME ON!!!!! In the last 10 days I have had 3 clingy, obsessive men all trying to date me, none of whom I have anything in common with, I am not attracted to, AND they all claimed within the first 24 hours th...

What do you do when someone gets the wrong impression of you? When they are more into you than you are to them? How do you let them down without hurting them when you never said you were interested in the first place? The guy even came to my church to see me! But there are several things about him that I"m not interestted in, he's too clingy, very needy and frankly, I"m just not interested. What do I do?

so I found out today that my friend Steven who was diagnosed with cancer awhile back has taken a turn for the worst and they've given him 2-3 days to live. Something about death, it really affects me. I"m not afraid of death, I know my destiny. And I know his. I think it's the idea of the unknown. We never know when something could happen to us, or someone close to us that will be fatal. It's hard to know that death is something I can't control. THat there is nothing more that I can do for hi...